Friday, March 23, 2007


Okay, I am sick. I have been sick since last Friday night when I felt it coming on. I forgot to put the bottle of echinachea with goldenseal in the picture, and am mad that I didn't keep up with it like I should have, or I wouldn't be in the state I am in, coughing, hacking, tearing, chilling, rinsing, taking too much stuff, hoping that I will not be stupid enough to over medicate like alot of people I know. I really am a moderate. All things in moderation. Especially when you go to the best respiratory hospital in the U.S. and have just been told (yesterday) the results of a test from weeks ago that you have pulmonary stress. Well, I look it up on their great site, only to find nothing simple. Dr. Anna asks me if I have been tired. I politely tell her, I have been tired since I had my first kid (hoping she remembers what I told her about that: When I came to from having my first born, my face was red and swollen from where the mask was, and I could not speak, the inside of my mouth felt like sandpaper. In fact, I could not talk for about three days, my throat was so sore. I really feared that I would never be able to talk again. I sure for some, they would not have minded that, and I believed God really had a good sense of humor on this one, but still there was a lesson to be learned. I did learn to listen even more and that most persons are so busy, that they find it hard to listen, because they are just so caught up in their own lives, kinda like the saying, "it's all about me!" Oh yeah, I have suffered from a sore throat ever since. At times, I hope it does not hurt me anymore, and I have recently went to a respiratory therapist, and learned a new execise. Okay, it works for about a half of a minute, so am I suppose to go around and look aboslutely wierd doing the exercise all day long. And a glass of water before hand, will I end up like that lady who drank to much water in a kiddy contest, only to die from it? God, I tell Him, you know the man upstairs, I really hate doctors and I really need more faith that You will heal me, because, they(the doctors) sure as heck are gonna take any responsiblity for this one. Anyway, Dr. Anna gives me an inhaler and tells me to do this twice a day and get back with her in a month. Okay, but for once, when I tell a Dr. will they get it? Will they 'fess up to what's going on, or use their statistics (sadistics) and research to tell the, ohhhhhh, that was too long ago for anything to be happening now....duh....I did not fall off a potato cart and was not born yesterday and I pray someone would give traditional western medical community a swift kick into reality. Why am I even bothering to go to this extent, well if our neighborhood, Douglas County Sheriff''s Department had not been so kind enough to illegally stop me and then suffocate me in their back seat, that I have become imbittered enough to pursue the possibility of a lawsuit, I would not be going to the doctors and finding all this delightful stuff out. NAUGHTY ME BLAMING PEOPLE!

Phew, enough already, can you tell, I just had to let that out? I am really trying hard to keep myself composed here, and I do realize that some good come out of everything, and for the most part I am a very positive person. I love life and giving. I know God does not give me anything in which He will provide a way to deal with it, it's just sometimes, I don't want to help myself and go ahead with feeling miserable. At least I am the time, that I do get over it quickly and get on with my knittin' and such. Did I mention, I will complete the front right side of my lacey summer cardigan? Yep, I will post it tommorrow, when the light is right.

And how about my Irish moss and the daffodils, yes, that is raindrops on the flowers. We are having a nice light spring shower here in South Metro Denver. The air is smelling clean.

1 comment:

Deneen said...

Ah, the "no faith in doctors" thought. I have them too, all the time, too long to discuss here.

I have finally figured out they are people like you and I and unfortunately, don't have all the answers, although they think they do. Somehow they are also more significant than you or I to the world in general (their thoughts).

Sometimes the "best" isn't always what is best for you. Maybe it's time to start at square one and get another opinion.